Summer in the South

Bob says, "Get to work."

Bob says, “Get to work.”

At first I thought it was just me, now I know it’s not. It. Is. Hot. We have had weeks of temperatures with the heat index between 105* F and 11o* F.  I truly am melting and the humidity is killing me.  I have noticed a few key signs of summer in the South. Here they are:

How to Know it’s Summer in the South

  1. You live in a neighborhood full of children.  You walk outside to get the mail and it’s eerily quiet. Not a single soul is outside and moving about. The animals are even hiding. You quickly question if the world has been attacked by aliens.
  2. It’s too hot to eat. The idea of eating makes you want to take a nap. If it has to be cooked forget about it. For the next few weeks it’s ice cream and chicken salad.
  3. You send the kids out to collect the mail. They return looking as if they jumped into the pool along the way.  Soaked head to toe.
  4. You start hoarding ice like it’s gold.
  5. You shower in the morning and at night. If you have a lot of errands to run, you shower again.
  6. You plan your day to be back inside by 11am. 12pm at the latest.
  7. All meals, starting July 1st are grilled. Veggies, meat, everything is grilled. Mama’s not heating up the house.
  8. The air conditioner freezes up at least once. It hasn’t shut off since July 4th.
  9. If you have to wear hose or pants, you’re not going.  The goal is to wear the least possible, without getting arrested for indecent exposure.
  10. You laugh at the tourist stuck in traffic headed to the beach.  They don’t realize it’s too hot for the beach by August.
  11. The pool feels like bath water. The only way to cool off is to go to the ice house, buy a few dozen  ice blocks and toss them in the pool.
  12. The guy who works at the Sonic drive thru knows you on sight. He has your giant sized lemonade slushy ready before you make it to the window.

What are you doing in the heat?


One thought on “Summer in the South

  1. Pingback: A Year of Commentition: A Retrospective | I Read Encyclopedias for Fun

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